Pie a Day Give Away

Today is Father’s Day and I wanted to give my Dad a pie. However, my Dad lives in Florida and I live in Oregon and so the chances of delivering him a fresh fruit pie were not great. But then, as I was looking through a cookbook, I saw a picture of a Brownie Pie and thought “That’s it!” I don’t think that there are many pies that could handle a 3,000+ mile journey – and I really won’t know how this pie has fared until my Dad gets the Priority Mail Box tomorrow. I’m hoping that it will be okay.

Father’s Day is the day that we celebrate our Dad’s. And to be sure, not everyone has a Dad that they want to celebrate. Being a Dad has to be harder than being a Mom because I think the Mom “thing” is hardwired into us as we grow the child inside us and it is hard not to connect with that baby. Without that biological connection, I think fatherhood is difficult … though I have seen some unlikely men become exceptional Dad’s.

My Dad was born in the midst of the Great Depression as many of our parents (or grandparents) were. It seems that my Dad’s parent’s did not come into their marriage with a lot of love and support and so they found it hard to give these same gifts to their children. That meant that my Dad had no one to depend on but himself when he was growing up.

At the age of 21, my Dad became a Dad when I was born. If you could see the photo of him holding me, you’d think he was my big brother. Less than two years later, he and my Mom buried my sister at the age of seven weeks after a bout of pneumonia. At that time there was no one to help them through the loss of a child… no counselors or therapists. My parents were expected to “not talk about it” and get on with their life. I can’t even imagine how that must have been for them.

Yet somehow my Dad (and Mom) kept on. He took a job with the city of New York and found a way to provide for us. Eventually we moved into a beautiful home in a quiet neighborhood – and he did it all without the help of anyone. He never asked for or received any handouts and he did all that he could to keep our family fed and clothed and safe. I don’t think I ever told him how grateful I am for that.

On this Father’s Day I wanted to send my Dad a gift that he would actually use, but as usual he could not tell me anything that he wanted. I imagine that it is hard for him to ask for something because he probably learned not to “want” much when he was youngster (because he probably wouldn’t get it). So, today, I want to honor my Dad for taking care of us as best he could. Somehow we all grew up to be pretty nice people and I think he should get some credit. Thank you Dad for being there. I know your life was not easy and, while I can’t change that, I want you to know I appreciate all that you have given to me. Happy Father’s Day – I love you.

Tonight I went to the Emergency Room at Ashland Community Hospital. Don’t worry, I am fine. Please give me a moment to explain. Today is June 18th and that is my friend Laura’s birthday. We met when we were in the third grade. Laura was smart and practical and her fingernails were perfectly manicured. I’d never seen a kid my age with pretty nails before. I was impressed from the start. Laura and I became friends that year and have remained so for 40+ years.

One year we worked on a science fair project together. We bought one of those clear plastic models of the human body and put it together. That’s it – end of story. I don’t remember what our grade was but clearly we did not perform any experiment – or test any ideas. We put a model together. At the time we both thought that we would study medicine one day and I guess this was our way of saying that we were serious about it.

After high school I enrolled in pre-med courses at Brooklyn College and struggled with the coursework. A year or so later my sister was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. I spent a lot of time in the children’s ward of the hospital visiting her and saw so many sick children. I could not see myself doing that on a daily basis and began to question my goals. One day my Psychology professor asked us to take out a piece of paper. “Write down one thing that you love to do” he said. I wrote the word “bake.” Then he asked, “Does anyone make a living doing what you wrote?”

Of course they do. And little does he know it, but that professor helped change my life. I grew up thinking that I wanted to help people – and never thought seriously about my love of baking until he asked that question. It took a few years, but I did study baking at the Culinary Institute of America and have found that my way of helping people has been along a much different path than I first envisioned.

My friend Laura did go on to study medicine. She studied at The Albert Einstein College of Medicine and is now in a practice in New Jersey. I know that Laura is always busy and that the life of a doctor, especially one that is as caring as she, can be hectic. And that is why I visited the Emergency Room. I wanted to bring a quiche to the doctors and nurses on duty in honor of my friend Laura. She is one of the best people I know and I am sending her my best wishes for a very Happy Birthday!

Betty Matteson

It was through the Ashland Rotary that I first met Betty Matteson. She was an Honorary member of the club and she and her husband Jim rarely missed a meeting. They seemed to hold court at their table and one could easily tell that they were well-loved. Tales of their kindness, generosity and good humor were heard throughout the club. One example is the calling card that Jim used – it read “The bearer of this card is entitled to one free hug (or more) Compliments of your friendly real estate associate, Jim Matteson.

Each year during the Festival of Lights Parade, Betty and Jim volunteered in a special capacity for the Ashland Chamber of Commerce. They dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus. They were an outstanding choice for this role. Jim was very comfortable as jolly Santa and Betty played Mrs. Claus with such a quiet strength that I could easily imagine her keeping things at the North Pole under control while Santa was away.

Over time, my husband and I became very close to Betty and Jim. They were incredible mentors and staunch supporters of us. Once when I told Jim that I was going back east for a visit, he told me to make sure and visit the local Rotary club while I was there. I took his advice and it was a great experience to get out of my comfort zone, to see how another club’s meeting was run and to meet some nice people.

After Jim died last year, Betty moved to Spokane to be closer to family. Before she left, we held a dinner for her family and a few friends at our house. It was such fun and I felt as if I’d known her daughters for years though we had only met briefly a few times. It’s rare when that happens… which makes it all the more special.

Betty’s daughter called me last week and when I asked how she was she said,”I’m sad” and I knew then that Betty was gone. It’s hard when you realize that you will never see someone again; that life is different now. I will miss Betty’s laugh, the way her eyes twinkled when she smiled, and of course, the bowls of M&M’s that she always had on hand. This morning I brought Betty’s family a Strawberry Rhubarb Pie. It’s a small gesture to help ease this time of sadness and express my thanks for including us in their extended family. I am truly grateful for having met them.

Today was the day that our friend Judith Anne retired from teaching after 41 years. Imagine doing something for that long… and imagine how many lives Judith Anne has touched over the years. What a legacy she has created! A Randy Travis song puts it like this: That teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children, Did her best to give ’em all a better start

Isn’t that what we all hope to do with our lives? To leave something that endures the fragile boundaries of our being? Well, Judith Anne has certainly done that and more. She has reached beyond her classroom to children across the world. This past year she raised money for homeless children in a school in Sierra Leone. And today, on her last day of work, she received a thank you email from those children. Click here to find out more about those children and their struggle.

I’m sure that you can think of a teacher that made an impression on you at some point in your schooling. One of my favorite teachers was named Miss Sorrola. She was my fourth grade teacher and she was awesome: confident, smart, pretty. And she was also one of the nicest people I knew. She was a great role model for me at that time and I am indebted to her for that. We all need wonderful teachers who can show us what we are capable of – and who encourage us to reach for the stars.

Tonight I brought Judith Anne an Apple Blueberry Pie to celebrate her many years of teaching. Countless children have benefitted from her efforts and I want to thank her on their behalf. Join me in wishing her a spectacular journey into the future.