Day 93: Life and loss

8 Jul

For those of you who have been following along, today I am well into the “25 percent towards goal” category (93 pies made with a goal of 365). When I think of it as 93 different pies assembled on one table, it seems like a lot. But I have only been making one pie a day and that has been manageable for me…

Tonight I made a quiche for a lady who lost her life partner quite suddenly. Her name was given to me by a friend and my heart goes out to her because loss is something that is very hard to deal with and sudden loss is much harder. The world does not stop for us, even though we think that it should. And somehow we are expected to move on as well.

I don’t really don’t have any answers or perfect words of wisdom about loss. In my life, I’ve lost a number of friends and family members and it has never been easy. Once when I was at the funeral of a young girl I heard words that helped me. The preacher said that the shortest sentence in the Bible was “Jesus wept.” It was Jesus’ reaction to the death of a friend. When I heard that I thought, okay, I can relate to that. Jesus was not saying “Oh it’s God’s will” or anything like that – he was just sad and he was showing it.

I remember when I was about 14, a man I knew in our neighborhood died and I went to the wake to show my respect for him. At the funeral home I met his sons and I tried to tell them how sorry I was that their Dad had passed but I could barely speak through my tears. In short order they had me laughing at their jokes, etc. and I thought, shouldn’t I have done that for them? Later on I realized that by showing up and being there I offered them a respite that they might not otherwise have had.

Life can be difficult – and at times we are called upon to do things that might be uncomfortable. On some occasions we may be asked to expose our emotions or at other times we might have to appear vulnerable. And I would say that a life lived without showing emotions or vulnerability, isn’t really living. What are your thoughts?

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2 Responses to “Day 93: Life and loss”

  1. grace sanchez July 24, 2011 at 6:00 PM #

    Dear Karen~ Thanks so much for sending the pie to Phyllis. We were staying with her during this difficult time and enjoyed the quiche and your thoughts attached to it. We have learned so much from this experience and really appreciate what you had to say on your post which is so true. There are times when the best we can offer to a friend is to be present amidst their suffering. To be there as a witness and an open heart, to suffer alongside…although this can be hard and heartbreaking, it is what we were perfectly designed for. Thanks so much! Grace Sanchez

  2. Ned Schaaf September 23, 2011 at 8:56 PM #

    I cannot comment. What you said and the way you said it was both sad and beautiful. There is nothing worthy I could add to that.

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