Day 32: Mother’s Day

9 May

Today is Mother’s Day and while I am blessed to be the mother of two great kids, it is also a time of sadness since my own Mother passed away twenty two years ago, only a few months after I became a Mom.  Over the years I have found women who were able to help fill the empty space my mother left – dear aunts and good friends – and that has been incredibly helpful.  However, it hasn’t stopped me from missing Mom.

There are so many things I would have liked to ask my Mom about being a mom.  I would have loved to talk with her about the challenges I faced as a mother and  listen to her advice. There are times I think of what I put her through when I was a teenager (and didn’t think anything of at the time) and hope that she knows that I regret them.

I think of the things I only understood after having children of my own.  My mother had a baby girl about 18 months after I was born.  Her name was Elizabeth.  When she was not quite two months old, she died from pneumonia.  My parents were 23 at the time.  They had no counselors to help them cope with their loss; the conventional wisdom was that you didn’t speak about it.  My mother never really talked about Elizabeth except around the time of her birthday or the anniversary of her death.  Until I held my own baby I did not know how strong a mother’s love was – or how much it could hurt.

On this day, I wanted to honor my Mother but I wasn’t sure how to do that.  A friend recommended honoring the women and children at the local women’s shelter, Dunn House.   They are courageous women who are on what can be called  a “hero’s journey”. To them I offer these three apple-blueberry pies.  May they be blessed with all that they need to succeed.

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2 Responses to “Day 32: Mother’s Day”

  1. Chela May 9, 2011 at 1:54 AM #

    I love you and I think you are doing a wonderful job in your role as mother, aunt, and friend. Xoxoxo (and I’m sure your mother forgave you long ago!)

  2. Wendy May 9, 2011 at 7:15 PM #

    Thank you for sharing this precious, touching story. I also had a sister who died when she was very young following emergency heart surgery. She was just 6 weeks old and I was 5. My parents also did what they thought best, which was to never talk about Julie. Sadly, many people still operate on some code of silence when it comes to tragic death.

    Thank you for honoring your sister by honoring the women and children making a new start at and with Dunn House.

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