Tag Archives: loss

Day 355: Winter/Spring Center for Transforming Grief

26 Mar

Black-Bottom Chocolate Pie

The name “Winter/Spring” symbolizes the seasons of life and death, particularly the transition from the darkness of winter to the reawakening, lightness, and hopefulness of spring (taken from their website).   The mission of Winter/Spring is to support grieving children, teens, and adults.  If know about the not-for-profit, Winter/Spring, chances are that you have experienced a significant loss in your life.

It was almost twenty years ago that I found myself in need of a place like Winter/Spring.  I was the mother of two small children and in a ten week period, I lost my sister, my uncle, and my brother-in-law.  It was an incredibly difficult time and I found myself crying continuously.  I knew I had to do something to get help because my children were always asking me, “What’s wrong?” and I couldn’t even explain it.

My husband discovered that the local hospital had a grief group starting up and encouraged me to attend.  At first I thought it would be hard to do, but I soon found out that it was exactly what I needed.  The meeting was lead by a married couple who had lost their daughter in a biking accident.  When I heard their story, and saw that they had survived that loss, I knew that I would also survive.

Each week, one by one, the members of the group would tell their stories of loss.  I found myself crying at each and every one and found that at the end of the meeting, I was exhausted and all cried out. I wouldn’t even feel like crying again until the next meeting.

One of the interesting things that happened during that time involved an older woman whose husband had died.  As she told her story she did not cry… and when she saw me crying, she looked at me with a look that I thought translated as, “Buckle up kid, get a hold of yourself.”  At our last meeting, she approached me.  I thought she was going to chastise me, and instead she said, “I am so envious of how easily you cry.  I am still so angry at my husband for dying, that I haven’t shed a single tear.”  What I had seen as judgement, was instead a longing to express her pain.

Today I wanted to make a special pie for the people at Winter/Spring and so I researched and found this recipe for Black-Bottom Pie on Epicurious.   I want to recognize all of the people who work at Winter Spring for the valuable work that they do. The services that they offer are very important and very much appreciated.  And if you are living with grief, I urge you to give them a call.  There is help waiting.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~John Taylor

Day 150: With Sympathy

3 Sep


Spinach and Chicken Sausage Frittata

Recently friends of mine experienced a very great loss and tonight I find myself searching for the right words to say. The very best that I can offer them is “I’m so very sorry.” However, what I really want to do is to make things better and yet I am powerless to do so.

Though I know that nothing can “fix” things I had to do something for them and so early this morning, I brought these friends a gift of food. It was a simple frittata, baked with love. I want them to know that they are in my thoughts and that I share in their sadness.

Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

Day 135: Losing a friend

19 Aug

A few weeks ago I gave a pie to my neighbor Shirley. We sat and talked about a number of things, and I asked her about a young man that I’d seen visiting her. She told me that he was her grandson Chris – and that he’d just lost his dog and was taking it hard.

I don’t know much about Chris at all. But what I do know is that he and that dog seemed to be inseparable. Chris would drive around in his black car with the windows rolled down and the dog would be seated next to him feeling the air on his face.

More recently, Chris would just walk his dog slowly because the dog had become ill. It was sad to see his dog struggle, but still so nice to see them together. And I know just how much he misses his dog now.

He said some folks have said, “Get another dog!” But I don’t think they understand that it’s not “just a dog” that’s missing – it’s his best friend. And when you lose your best friend, you need time to grieve.

I brought Chris an Apple Blueberry Pie tonight in memory of his best friend. It is a small gesture but sent with love and understanding.

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